Sunnah Method Of Marriage

10. Simplicity In Nikâh - Exemplary Marriages

Rasulullâh ﷺ has stated, “Verily the marriage with the greatest barakah (blessings) is that one in which the expenses are the least.” (Ahmad/Shuabul-Imân)

Let us study a few examples in Islamic history to see the simplicity of Islâmic marriages:

1) Hadhrat Ali, radiyallahu anhu, narrates, "When a marriage proposal for Fâtimâh, radiyallahu anha, was sent to Rasulullâh ﷺ, a slave of mine asked, “Do you know that a marriage proposal for Fâtimâh, radiyallahu anha, has been sent to Rasulullâh ﷺ?' When I declared that I did not know, she said, 'Well! She has already received a proposal. What stops you from approaching Rasulullâh ﷺ (and requesting him) to marry her to you?' 'Do I have anything with which to marry her?' I said. She said, “You only have to approach Rasulullâh ﷺ and he will marry her to you.” By Allâh ta’ala! She then continued giving me hope until I went to see Rasulullâh ﷺ.” However, when I sat before Rasulullâh ﷺ, I was unable to utter a word out of respect and awe for him. Rasulullâh ﷺ asked, “What brings you here? Is there something you need?' When I remained silent, Rasulullâh ﷺ said, 'Have you perhaps come to propose for Fâtimâh, radiyallahu anha?” “Yes,” I managed to reply. “Have you got anything to give as dowry?” Rasulullâh ﷺ asked. “By Allâh!” I replied, “I possess nothing.” “What has happened to the suit of armour I gave you?” he ﷺ asked. I swear by the Being Who controls the life of Ali that the armour was the type made by the Hatma bin Muhârib tribe and was barely worth four (hundred) dirhams. When I informed Rasulullâh ﷺ that I still had it with me, he said, “Then I have handed her over in marriage to you, so send it to her as dowry.” This was therefore the dowry of Fâtimâh, radiyallahu anha, the daughter of Rasulullâh ﷺ." (Bayhaqi in Dalâil)

Hadhrat Buraydah, radiyallahu anhu, narrates that a group of the Ansâr once suggested to Hadhrat Ali, radiyallahu anhu, that he propose for Hadhrat Fâtimâh, radiyallahu anha,'s hand in marriage. (When he approached Rasulullâh ﷺ,) Rasulullâh ﷺ asked, "What does the son of Abu Tâlib need?" "O Rasulullâh ﷺ !" Hadhrat Ali, radiyallahu anhu, replied, "I wish to propose for the hand of Fâtimâh, radiyallahu anha, the daughter of Rasulullâh ﷺ." All Rasulullâh ﷺ said was, "Marhaban wa Ahlan." Hadhrat Ali, radiyallahu anhu, then left and met with the group of Ansâr who had been waiting for him. When they asked him what had happened, he replied, "All I know is that Rasulullâh ﷺ said, 'Marhaban wa Ahlan.'" They said, "Even one of two things Rasulullâh ﷺ gave you is sufficient. He gave you both Ahl (a family) as well as Marhab (a comfortable home)."

After handing Hadhrat Fâtimâh, radiyallahu anha, over in marriage, Rasulullâh ﷺ said, "O Ali! It is necessary for a Waleemah to be hosted after consummation." Hadhrat Sa'd, radiyallahu anhu, offered a sheep he owned (for the meat) and the Ansaar collected a few Saa of wheat (for the bread). When the night of the consummation arrived, Rasulullâh ﷺ gave the couple instructions to do nothing until he arrived. (When he got there) Rasulullâh ﷺ asked for some water, performed wudhu and then sprinkled some of the water on to Hadhrat Ali, radiyallahu anhu, saying: O Allâh! Bless the two of them and bless them in their consummation. (Tabrâni)

Another narration similar to the above, states that the du'â Rasulullâh ﷺ made was: O Allâh! Bless the two of them and bless them in their two lionlike sons. (Bazzâr)

A third narration quotes the du'â of Rasulullâh ﷺ as: O Allâh! Bless the two of them, shower Your blessings on them, bless them in their consummation and bless them in their progeny. (Ibn Asâkir)

Yet another narration states that Rasulullâh ﷺ added: …and bless their communion. (Al Bidâyah Wan Nihâyah)

Hadhrat Asmâ bint Umays, radiyallahu anha, narrates that after Hadhrat Fâtimâh, radiyallahu anha, was married to Hadhrat Ali, radiyallahu anhu, all that they saw in her house was a straw mat spread out on the ground, a pillow stuffed with the bark of a palm tree, an earthen jug and an earthen mug. (On the night of the marriage) Rasulullâh ﷺ sent a message saying, "Do nothing" or "Do not get close to your wife until I come." When Rasulullâh ﷺ arrived, he asked, "Is my brother here?" When Rasulullâh ﷺ forged bonds of brotherhood between the Sahabah, radiyallahu anhum, he forged his brotherhood with Hadhrat Ali, radiyallahu anhu. Hadhrat Ummu Ayman, radiyallahu anha, a pious woman who was an Abyssinian and the mother of Hadhrat Usaama bin Zaid, , radiyallahu anhu, asked in surprise, "O Rasulullâh ﷺ! He is your brother and you have married your daughter to him?" Rasulullâh ﷺ replied, "This (marriage) can take place (despite this type of brotherhood), O Ummu Ayman."

Rasulullâh ﷺ then sent for a container of water, uttered some words and then passed his hands over the chest and face of Hadhrat Ali, radiyallahu anhu. He then called Hadhrat Fâtimâh, radiyallahu anha, who stood by him shivering in her shawl out of modesty. Rasulullâh ﷺ sprinkled some of the water on her and also uttered some words. He then said to her, "I have not failed you in my duty to get you married to the family member I love most." Hadhrat Asmâ, radiyallahu anha, narrates further. She says, "Rasulullâh ﷺ then noticed a figure behind the curtain or behind the door and asked, “Who is that?” “Asmâ,” I replied. “Asmâ bint Umays?” Rasulullâh ﷺ asked. “Yes, O Rasulullâh ﷺ,” I confirmed. He then asked, “Have you come to be of service to Rasulullâh ﷺ (and his family)?” “Yes,” I replied, “because a young girl must have a family woman with her on her first night to take care of anything she might need.” Rasulullâh ﷺ then made such a wonderful du'â for me that it is the one deed that I have most hope in (to deliver me to salvation in the hereafter). Rasulullâh ﷺ then said to Ali, radiyallahu anhu, “Look after your wife” and as he left, he continued making du'â for them until he disappeared in his room."(Tabrâni)

Hadhrat Ali, radiyallahu anhu, narrates that when Rasulullâh ﷺ got him married to Hadhrat Fâtimâh, radiyallahu anha, Rasulullâh ﷺ sent for some water and then gargled with it. Rasulullâh ﷺ then took Hadhrat Ali, radiyallahu anhu, into the room where he sprinkled the water on his chest and between his shoulders and then sought Allaah ta’ala's protection for him by reciting Surah Ikhlaas and the Mu'awwadhatayn (Surah Falaq and Surah Nâs). (Ibn Asâkir)

Hadhrat Ali, radiyallahu anhu, reports that when Hadhrat Fâtimâh, radiyallahu anha, got married, Rasulullâh ﷺ gave her a blanket, a water bag and a leather pillow stuffed with Idhkhir grass. (Bayhaqi in Dalâil)

Hadhrat Abdullaah bin Amr, radiyallahu anhu, reports that when Rasulullâh ﷺ sent Hadhrat Fâtimâh, radiyallahu anha, to (her husband) Hadhrat Ali, radiyallahu anhu, Rasulullâh ﷺ gave her a blanket, a water bag and a leather pillow stuffed with the bark of a date palm and Idhkhir grass. The couple slept on (half of) the blanket and used the other half to cover themselves. (Tabrâni)

Lessons: The marriage of the queen of both worlds was performed with the greatest of simplicity. There was no engagement party. Neither were sweetmeats given out, nor was any jewelry placed on the neck, as is the custom of Hindus, and nor was any ring placed on the finger, as is Christian culture. After the proposal of Hadrat Alî, radiyallahu anhu, Nabî ﷺ said to Hadrat Anas, radiyallahu anhu, to go and call Hadrat Abu Bakr, Hadrat Umar, Hadrat Usmân, Hadrat Talha, Hadrat Zubair and a few other sahâbah, radiyallahu anhum. Those who were easily available and close by were called for the nikâh. There was no special wait for people coming from other places, months of preparation, sending of wedding cards, buying and shopping for months, etc. The nikâh was then performed, despite the fact that Hadrat Alî, radiyallahu anhu, did not possess much. Nabî ﷺ himself performed the nikâh.

2) Hadhrat Aa'isha, radiyallahu anha, reports that when Hadhrat Khadîjah, radiyallahu anha, passed away, Rasulullâh ﷺ was still living in Makkah. It was then that Hadhrat Khowla bint Hakîm bin Awqas, radiyallahu anha, the wife of Hadhrat Uthmân ibn Madh'ûn, radiyallahu anhu, suggested, "O Rasulullâh ﷺ! Are you not interested in getting married?" "To whom?" Rasulullâh ﷺ asked. She replied, "A virgin if you wish or a previously married woman if you wish." "Who is the virgin?" Rasulullâh ﷺ asked. Hadhrat Khowlah, radiyallahu anha, replied, "She is the daughter of the person you like best, Aa'isha the daughter of Abu Bakr, radiyallahu anhu." "And who is the previously married woman?" Rasulullâh ﷺ asked. "She is Saudah bint Zam'ah, radiyallahu anha," came the reply, "She has believed in you (as Allâh's messenger) and follows you in your religion." Rasulullâh ﷺ then said to her, "Go and mention my name to them."

Hadhrat Khowlah, radiyallahu anha, went to Hadhrat Abu Bakr, radiyallahu anhu,'s house where she found Hadhrat Umme Rumân, radiyallahu anha, who was the mother of Hadhrat Aa'isha, radiyallahu anha, Umme Rumân, radiyallahu anha," she said, "What tremendous goodness and blessings is Allâh ta’ala about to shower on your family! Rasulullâh ﷺ has sent me to propose for Aa'isha's hand in marriage." Hadhrat Umme Rumân, radiyallahu anha, said, "I would love it, but let us wait for Abu Bakr who is soon to arrive." When he came, Hadhrat Khowlah, radiyallahu anha, said to him, "What tremendous goodness and blessings is Allâh ta’ala about to shower on your family! Rasulullâh ﷺ has sent me to propose for Aa'isha's hand in marriage." Hadhrat Abu Bakr, radiyallahu anhu, asked, "Is she suitable for him? She is the daughter of his brother."

Hadhrat Khowlah, radiyallahu anha, reported back to Rasulullâh ﷺ the doubt that Hadhrat Abu Bakr, radiyallahu anhu, expressed. Rasulullâh ﷺ said, "Go back and tell him that he is my brother in Islâm and that I am his brother in Islâm (not by blood). His daughter is therefore suitable for me." When she conveyed the message to Hadhrat Abu Bakr, radiyallahu anhu,, he said, "Call Rasulullâh ﷺ here." Rasulullâh ﷺ then came and Hadhrat Abu Bakr, radiyallahu anhu, got Hadhrat Aa'isha, radiyallahu anha, married to him. (Tabrâni)

Another narration states at the end that Rasulullâh ﷺ told Hadhrat Khowlah, radiyallahu anha, "Go back and tell him that I am his brother in Islâm (not by blood) and that he is my brother in Islâm. His daughter is therefore suitable for me." When Hadhrat Khowlah, radiyallahu anha, returned with the message, Hadhrat Abu Bakr, radiyallahu anhu, told her to wait and then left the house. Hadhrat Umme Rumân, radiyallahu anha, says that Mut'im bin Adi had requested the hand of Hadhrat Aa'isha, radiyallahu anha, for his son Jubayr and Hadhrat Abu Bakr, radiyallahu anhu, had promised it to him. Because Hadhrat Abu Bakr, radiyallahu anhu, never broke a promise, he went to see Mut'im. With Mut'im at the time was his wife who was the mother of the boy in question (Jubayr). She however spoke to Hadhrat Abu Bakr, radiyallahu anhu, in such harsh terms that the desire to fulfill his promise to Mut'im was forced out of Hadhrat Abu Bakr, radiyallahu anhu,’s heart.

Hadhrat Abu Bakr, radiyallahu anhu, asked Mut'im, "What have you to say about this girl (my daughter? Are you still interested in getting your son married to her)?" Mut'im however turned to his wife saying, "What have you to say?" She turned to Hadhrat Abu Bakr, radiyallahu anhu, and said, "It seems that if we marry the boy to her, you will make him irreligious and enter him into the religion you follow." Hadhrat Abu Bakr, radiyallahu anhu, again turned to Mut'im and asked, "What have you to say?" Mut'im replied, "You have heard what she has to say (I stand by that)." Hadhrat Abu Bakr, radiyallahu anhu, then left them. Allâh ta’ala had removed from his heart the worry for the promise he had made. He then said to Hadhrat Khowla, radiyallahu anha, "Call Rasulullâh ﷺ here." She then called Rasulullâh ﷺ and when he arrived, Hadhrat Abu Bakr, radiyallahu anhu, got Hadhrat Aa'isha, radiyallahu anha, married to him. Hadhrat Aa'isha, radiyallahu anha, was then six years old.

Hadhrat Khowla, radiyallahu anha, then left them and went to Hadhrat Sauda bint Zam'ah, radiyallahu anha. She said to Hadhrat Sauda, radiyallahu anha, "What tremendous goodness and blessings is Allâh ta’ala about to shower on you!" "What is it?" Hadhrat Sauda, radiyallahu anha, asked. "Rasulullâh ﷺ has sent me to propose for your hand in marriage." "I would love to marry him. Go and tell my father about it." Her father was an extremely old man who was unable to even perform Hajj. Hadhrat Khowla, radiyallahu anha, went to him and greeted him with the greeting of the Period of Ignorance. "Who is there?" he asked. "Khowla bint Hakeem," she replied. When he asked her why she had come, she replied, "Muhammad ﷺ bin Abdullâh has sent me to propose for Sauda's hand in marriage." "What has she to say?" the old man asked. "She would very much like to marry him," Hadhrat Khowla, radiyallahu anha, replied. The old man then asked her to call for Rasulullâh ﷺ and when he arrived, he married her to Rasulullâh ﷺ.

When Hadhrat Sauda, radiyallahu anha,'s brother Abd ibn Zam'ah returned from Hajj, he started throwing sand on his head (out of remorse). However, after he had accepted Islâm, he remarked, "By my life! I was a real fool the day I threw sand on my head because Rasulullâh ﷺ married Sauda bint Zam'ah." Hadhrat Aa'isha, radiyallahu anha, relates further, "When we arrived in Madinah, we stayed in Sunh with the Banu Hârith bin Khazraj tribe. When Rasulullâh ﷺ came to our house one day, my mother came to me as I was swinging on a swing suspended between two palm branches. She took me off the swing and neatened my hair which was very short. She then wiped my face with some water and led me to the door. I was out of breath by then and stood there until my breathing had returned to normal.

My mother then took me into the room where Rasulullâh ﷺ was sitting on a seat with several men and women of the Ansâr. My mother closed the door behind me and said, 'This is now your family. May Allâh ta’ala bless you with them and bless them with you." All the men and women then stood up and left. It was then in our house that the marriage was consummated. Neither was any camel nor any goat slaughtered for my marriage until Sa'd bin Ubaadah sent a platter of food which he usually sent to Rasulullâh ﷺ whenever he was with any of his wives. I was then seven years old (however, several more authentic narrations confirm that Hadhrat Aa'isha, radiyallahu anha, was then nine years old)." (Ahmad)

Lessons: Despite the fact that Hadrat Aa’isha, radiyallahu anha, was of such a small age, Rasulullâh ﷺ did not delay in the performance of the nikâh. Due to her small age, the nikâh was only consummated after three years. The walimâh too was very simple. Whatever was available was given.

3) Hadhrat Abdullâh ibn Umar, radiyallahu anhu, narrates that Hadhrat Hafsah, radiyallahu anha, became a widow when her husband Hadhrat Khunays bin Hudhâfah Sahmi, radiyallahu anhu, who was a veteran of the Battle of Badr, passed away in Madinah. When this happened, Hadhrat Umar, radiyallahu anhu, met Hadhrat Uthmaan, radiyallahu anhu, and asked, "If you agree, I can get you married to (my daughter) Hafsah." "I shall think about it," Hadhrat Uthmaan, radiyallahu anhu, replied. After a few days, Hadhrat Uthmaan, radiyallahu anhu, said (to Hadhrat Umar, radiyallahu anhu), "I have decided not to marry."

Hadhrat Umar, radiyallahu anhu, himself narrates further. He says, "I then approached Abu Bakr, radiyallahu anhu, saying, 'If you agree, I can get you married to (my daughter) Hafsah.' He however remained silent. This made me angrier than I had been with Uthmaan, radiyallahu anhu, but it was only a few days later that Rasulullâh ﷺ proposed for her hand in marriage. After I had married her to Rasulullâh ﷺ, Abu Bakr, radiyallahu anhu, met me and said, 'You were perhaps very angry with me when I failed to give you a reply the day you proposed that I marry Hafsah?' 'I certainly was,' I replied. He then explained, 'The only thing that prevented me from getting back to you was that I knew Rasulullâh ﷺ had spoken about (proposing for) her and I could not divulge Rasulullâh ﷺ's secret. I would have accepted the proposal had Rasulullâh ﷺ left her.'"(Bukhâri, Nasaî)

Another narration states that when Hadhrat Umar, radiyallahu anhu, complained to Rasulullâh ﷺ about Hadhrat Uthmân, radiyallahu anhu, (not accepting the proposal), Rasulullâh ﷺ remarked, "Hafsah shall be married to someone better than Uthmân and Uthmân shall be married to someone better than Hafsah." Rasulullâh ﷺ later got Hadhrat Uthmân, radiyallahu anhu, married to his daughter (and himself married Hadhrat Hafsah, radiyallahu anha). (Ahmad, Bayhaqi)

Lessons: Hadhrat Umar, radiyallahu anhu, himself sought a suitable marriage partner for his daughter. Thus there is no harm if the father of the girl approaches a boy in which he notices noble qualities. We also learn that a Muslim should conceal his brother’s secrets. He should not divulge them.

4) Hadhrat Ummu Salamah, radiyallahu anha, reports that when her Iddah had expired, Hadhrat Abu Bakr, radiyallahu anhu, proposed for her hand in marriage but she did not marry him. When Rasulullâh ﷺ sent someone to extend his proposal of marriage, she said, "Do inform Rasulullâh ﷺ that I am a woman who is extremely possessive, that I have children and that none of my guardians are present." (When the message reached him) Rasulullâh ﷺ said, "Tell her, 'As for your statement that you are extremely possessive, I shall pray to Allâh to dispel it. As for your statement that you have children, they shall be well taken care of, and as for your statement that you have no guardians present, none of them who are either present or absent shall object to this." (When the message reached her) Hadhrat Ummu Salamah, radiyallahu anha, instructed her son Umar, radiyallahu anhu, saying, "Get up and get Rasulullâh ﷺ married." He then got Rasulullâh ﷺ married (to his mother). (Nasaî)

When Hadhrat Ummu Salamah, radiyallahu anha, arrived in Madinah and told the people that she was the daughter of Abu Umayyah bin Mughiera, they refused to believe her. When some of them were leaving for Hajj, they asked her if she wanted to write to her family (in Makkah). She sent a letter with them (by which they managed to confirm who she was) and when they returned, they believed her. This then increased her status amongst them. After she had given birth to her daughter Zaynab (signalling the expiry of her Iddah), Rasulullâh ﷺ proposed for her hand in marriage. She said, "Can a woman such as I be married? I am unable to bear children (because of my age), am extremely possessive, and have children of my own." Rasulullâh ﷺ replied, "I am older than you, Allâh shall remove your extreme possessiveness and your children shall be the responsibility of Allâh and His Rasûl ﷺ." Rasulullâh ﷺ then married her and whenever he came to her, he would affectionately ask, "Where is Zaynab?" This continued until one day Hadhrat Ammâr (bin Yaasir), radiyallahu anhu, took the child away saying, "She (her presence) is preventing Rasulullâh ﷺ from his needs (with his new bride)." During that period, Hadhrat Ummu Salamah, radiyallahu anha, was still breast feeding the child. When Rasulullâh ﷺ came afterwards and asked "Where is Zaynab?", Hadhrat Qarînah bint Abu Umayyah, radiyallahu anha, (Hadhrat Ummu Salamah, radiyallahu anha,'s sister) who happened to be there, informed him that Hadhrat Ammaar, radiyallahu anhu, had taken her away (so that Rasulullâh ﷺ could have some privacy). Rasulullâh ﷺ then told Hadhrat Ummu Salamah, radiyallahu anha, that he would see her that night.

Hadhrat Ummu Salamah, radiyallahu anha, then put down her leather spread (beneath her grindstone for the dirt to fall upon) and took out some barley grains from her earthen pot. (After grinding the barley) She then mixed the barley with some fat to make a type of porridge for Rasulullâh ﷺ to eat. After Rasulullâh ﷺ had spent the night with her, he said, "You certainly deserve the respect of your family. If you wish, I could spend seven nights with you, but then I would have to do the same for all my other wives." (Ibn Asâkir)

Lessons: Some men, when getting married to widows or divorcees, became unhappy with the mother bringing her children into his house. They at times force the mother to give her children for custody to some-one else. Rasulullâh ﷺ has left for us such an exemplary and beautiful example. Nabî ﷺ would show great affection towards this child. Another amazing point is that Ummu Salamah, radiyallahu anha, cooked food for the Messenger of Allâh ﷺ on the night of the consummation of her marriage. Marriage was not a hindrance to these basic duties. There are blessings when food is cooked at home. Nowadays, the wife does not cook for a long period after her marriage. Food is mostly ‘bought out.’ There is lack of blessings in this. If after such food is consumed and a child is born, can goodness be expected from such a child?

5) Hadhrat Ismâ'îl ibn Amr reports that Hadhrat Ummu Habîbah bint Abu Sufyân, radiyallahu anha, said, "What I remember well about the time I was in Abyssinia was the arrival of Najâshi's (the king's) messenger. She was a lady called Abraha and was in charge of the king's clothing and oils. She sought permission to enter and when I allowed her in, she said, 'The king says, “Rasulullâh ﷺ has written to me to get you married to him.” I replied by saying, “You have given me most excellent news (I accept).” She then said, “The king asks you to appoint someone to hand you over in marriage.” I sent for Khâlid ibn Sa'îd ibn Al Aas and appointed him for the task. Thereafter, out of joy for the news she had brought me, I gave Abraha two silver bangles, two silver anklets and every silver toe ring I was wearing."

That evening, Najâshi, radiyallahu anhu, invited Ja'far ibn Abî Tâlib and all the other Muslims who were there. Najâshi, radiyallahu anhu, then delivered a lecture saying, "All praise is due to Allâh The Supreme King, The Most Pure, The Giver of Peace, The Mighty and Most Powerful. I testify that there is none worthy of worship but Allâh and that Muhammad ﷺ is His Rasul, and the one about whose arrival Isâ ibn Maryam, alayhis salam, had given glad tidings. I wish to tell you that Rasulullâh ﷺ has asked me to marry him to Ummu Habibah, the daughter of Abu Sufyân. I have complied with his wish and am giving her a dowry of four hundred gold coins." He then poured out the coins in front of the people. Thereafter, Hadhrat Khâlid ibn Sa'îd, radiyallahu anhu, spoke. He said, "All praise belongs to Allâh. It is He that I praise and from Him do I seek forgiveness. I testify that there is none worthy of worship but Allâh and that Muhammad ﷺ is the servant and messenger of Allâh whom Allâh has sent with guidance and the true religion that shall overcome all other religions even though the polytheists detest it. I wish to say that I also comply with the wish of Rasulullâh ﷺ and hand over Ummu Habîbah bint Abu Sufyân to him in marriage. May Allâh ﷻ bless Rasulullâh ﷺ."

Najâshi, radiyallahu anhu, then handed over the coins to Hadhrat Khâlid, radiyallahu anhu, who accepted it (on behalf of Hadhrat Ummu Habîbah, radiyallahu anha). When the Muslims then started to leave, Najâshi, radiyallahu anhu, said to them, "Do remain seated. It has been the practice of the ambiyâ, alayhimus salam, to host a meal on the occasion of a marriage. He then sent for the food and the Muslims ate before leaving. (Al-Bidâyah wan Nihâyah)

Hadhrat Ismâ'îl ibn Amr ibn Sa'îd ibn Al Aas reports that Hadhrat Ummu Habîbah bint Abu Sufyân, radiyallahu anha, said, "I saw my husband Ubaydullâh bin Jahash in a dream looking most horrible and hideous. I awoke with a fright and said, “By Allâh! His condition must have changed.” That morning he surprised me by saying, “O Ummu Habeebah! I have thought about religion and see no religion better than Christianity. I had been a Christian before entering the religion of Muhammad. I have now reverted to Christianity.” “By Allâh!” I exclaimed, “There is no good for you in this.” When I informed him about my dream, he simply ignored it and then got hooked on wine until he died.

Continuing her narration, Hadhrat Ummu Habeebah, radiyallahu anha, says, "I then saw someone in a dream addressing me with the title of 'Ummul Mu'mineen'. I awoke with a start and interpreted the dream to mean that Rasulullâh ﷺ would soon marry me. As soon as my Iddah had expired, I well recall when the messenger of Najaashi, radiyallahu anhu, came to me…" The rest of the narration is like the one above. The narration however adds at the end that Hadhrat Ummu Habeebah, radiyallahu anha, said, "After the Muslims had eaten and left and the money came to me, I sent for Abraha, radiyallahu anha, who had brought me the good news. I said to her, 'I gave you what I did that day only because I had no money then. Here are fifty gold coins. Please take it and use it for yourself.' She however produced a box containing everything I had given her. Returning it to me, she said, 'The king made me promise that I shall not take anything from you as long as I am in charge of his clothing and oils. I am also a follower of the religion of Rasulullâh ﷺ and have submitted to Allâh ta’ala. The king has already instructed his wives to send to you all the perfumes they have in their possession.' The next morning, she brought me plenty of fragrances such as Ood, Waras, Amber and Zabaad. I brought back all of this to Rasulullâh ﷺ and although he saw it with me and saw me wearing it, he never objected.

Abraha, radiyallahu anha, then said to me, 'My only request to you is that you convey my Salaams to Rasulullâh ﷺ and that you inform him that I have become a follower of his religion. She treated me very kindly and even helped me prepare for the journey. Whenever she came to me, she would say, 'Do not forget my request.' When I got to Rasulullâh ﷺ and informed him about the proposal and the behaviour of Abraha, radiyallahu anha, he merely smiled and when I conveyed her salâms to him, he replied by saying: May Allâh's peace, mercy, and blessings be on her. (Hâkim)

6) Hadhrat Anas, radiyallahu anhu, reports that when the iddah of Hadhrat Zaynab bint Jahash, radiyallahu anha, had expired, Rasulullâh ﷺ told Hadhrat Zaid, radiyallahu anhu, to ask her if she would marry him. When Hadhrat Zaid, radiyallahu anhu, saw her as she was kneading dough, her status soared so much in his heart because Rasulullâh ﷺ wanted to marry her and that he was unable to even look at her (note: this incident took place before the laws of hijâb were revealed). He therefore turned on his heels and facing his back to her, said, "O Zaynab! Glad tidings to you! Rasulullâh ﷺ has sent me to propose for your hand in marriage." Hadhrat Zaynab, radiyallahu anha, replied by saying, "I am unable to do anything until I consult with my Sustainer." She then stood at the place where she performed her salâh (and engaged in salâh). It was then that Allâh ta’ala revealed some verses of the Qur'ân (in which Allâh ta’ala states,
"We married her (Zaynab) to you (O Rasulullâh ﷺ)…" (Ahzâb) (Because Allâh ta’ala had conducted the marriage), Rasulullâh ﷺ then went to Hadhrat Zaynab, radiyallahu anha, without needing to seek permission.

Hadhrat Anas, radiyallahu anhu, says further, "I was also there when Rasulullâh ﷺ went to Hadhrat Zaynab, radiyallahu anha, and fed us bread and meat to celebrate the occasion. While some people (ate and) left, others remained behind in the room to talk after eating. Rasulullâh ﷺ left the room and I followed him. He then visited the rooms of all his wives to greet them and they all asked him how he found his new bride. I cannot remember if it was I or someone else who informed Rasulullâh ﷺ that the guests had all left, upon which he went back (to Hadhrat Zaynab, radiyallahu anha,'s room). As I was about to enter with Rasulullâh ﷺ, he drew a curtain between himself and me because the verses of hijâb had just been revealed. Also revealed was the verse teaching etiquette to the people, which states:
Then too, do not wait for it (the meal) to be prepared (by arriving too early or without invitation), but enter when (the meal is done and) you are called (to eat) and disperse (depart) once you have eaten without (remaining behind and) enjoying a (lengthy) conversation. Indeed this (arriving too early and remaining behind afterwards) hurts the Nabi ﷺ, but he is shy for you (he does not tell you lest you feel offended). (However,) Allâh (ta’ala) does not shy away from the truth (and makes it clear to all without exception). When you ask them (Rasulullâh ﷺ’s wives) for anything, then ask them from behind a curtain (without seeing them). This is purer for your hearts and for their hearts (for it safeguards you from evil thoughts and desires). It is not (permissible) for you (believers) to hurt the Nabi ﷺ (in any way), nor to ever marry his wives after him (after he passes away). Verily this (hurting Rasulullâh ﷺ and marrying his wives after his demise) is grave in the sight of your Rabb. (Ahzâb) (Ahmad, Nasaî, Muslim)

In another narration, Hadhrat Anas, radiyallahu anhu, states, "To celebrate his marriage to Hadhrat Zaynab bint Jahash, radiyallahu anha, Rasulullâh ﷺ hosted a meal of bread and meat. I was sent to invite the people to the meal and as they arrived, they ate and then left. When I could find no one more to invite, I submitted, 'O Nabî of Allâh ﷺ! I cannot find anyone else to invite.' Rasulullâh ﷺ then gave the instruction for the food to be taken away but there were still three people who stayed behind to talk. Rasulullâh ﷺ therefore left the room and went to the room of Hadhrat Aa'isha, radiyallahu anha. When he greeted her with the words: peace, mercy and blessings of Allâh ﷺ be upon you people of the house
she replied by saying:
peace, mercy and blessings of Allâh ta’ala be upon you

She then asked, “How did you find your wife? May Allâh bless you!” Rasulullâh ﷺ then went to each of his wives' rooms in turn. As he greeted them in the manner he greeted Hadhrat Aa'isha, radiyallahu anha, they said to him what Hadhrat Aa'isha, radiyallahu anha, had said. When Rasulullâh ﷺ returned to the room (of Hadhrat Zaynab, radiyallahu anha), he found the three men still sitting there and talking. Because Rasulullâh ﷺ was extremely bashful, (rather than telling them to leave) he again walked off towards the room of Hadhrat Aa'isha, radiyallahu anha. I cannot recall whether it was someone else or I who informed him that the men had left. He then returned and his one foot was still on the threshold and the other outside when he dropped the curtain between himself and me, and the verse of hijâb was revealed." (Bukhâri)

Lessons: In all the marriages of Nabî ﷺ, the walimah was extremely simple. It was only in this marriage that extra was prepared as the nikâh was performed in the heavens. Despite the huge numbers of people coming for this meal, they were all fed at home in turns. There was no hiring of halls, caterers, etc. This is not the way of Nabî ﷺ and our pious predecessors. As far as possible, we should hold firmly onto their path.

7) Hadhrat Anas, radiyallahu anhu, reports that when the prisoners captured after the Battle of Khaybar were mustered together, Hadhrat Dihya, radiyallahu anhu, approached Rasulullâh ﷺ with a request. "O Rasulullâh ﷺ!" he said, "Give me a slave woman from the captives." "Go and take one," Rasulullâh ﷺ said. Hadhrat Dihya, radiyallahu anhu, proceeded to take Safiyya bint Huyay. Someone then came to Rasulullâh ﷺ saying, "O Nabî of Allâh ﷺ! You have given to Dihya Safiyya bint Huyay who is the leader of the Banu Qurayzah and Banu Nadhîr tribes! She is suitable only for you." Rasulullâh ﷺ then sent for her and when he saw her, he instructed Hadhrat Dihya, radiyallahu anhu, to take another woman. Rasulullâh ﷺ then set her free and married her. (Bukhâri, Muslim, Abu Dawûd)

Hadhrat Anas, radiyallahu anhu, narrates that they marched to Khaybar and after conquering the fortress there, Rasulullâh ﷺ was informed about Safiyya bint Huyay bin Akhtab. She was an extremely beautiful lady whose husband had been killed while she was still a new bride. Rasulullâh ﷺ chose (to marry) her and (after leaving Khaybar) it was only when they reached the boundary of Sahbaa that she stopped menstruating. It was therefore only there that Rasulullâh ﷺ was able to consummate the marriage. Rasulullâh ﷺ then had some Hais (A sweet dish prepared with dates, butter and flour) prepared and served on a leather tablecloth. Hadhrat Anas, radiyallahu anhu, was then instructed to invite whoever was in the area (to partake of the food). This was the Waleemah meal for Rasulullâh’s ﷺ marriage to Hadhrat Safiyya bint Huyay, radiyallahu anha. Hadhrat Anas, radiyallahu anhu, reports further that on the way back to Madinah, he saw Rasulullâh ﷺ use a shawl to make a screen for her behind him. He would then kneel beside his camel and place his knee upright for her to step on as she mounted the camel. (Bukhâri)

Hadhrat Anas, radiyallahu anhu, states, "Rasulullâh ﷺ camped at a place between Khaybar and Madinah for three days. It was here that he consummated his marriage to Safiyya, radiyallahu anha, after which I invited the Muslims present there to a Walîmah meal that featured neither bread nor meat. All that it consisted of was Rasulullâh ﷺ's instruction to Bilâl, radiyallahu anhu, to spread out a leather tablecloth. He then scattered some dates, cheese and butter onto it (which the people ate). Some of the Muslims asked, 'Is she one of the Ummahaatul Mu'mineen (wives of Rasulullâh ﷺ) or his slave woman?' Others replied, 'If Rasulullâh ﷺ veils her, she is one of the Ummahaatul Mu'mineen, otherwise she is his slave woman.' When the army started to leave, Rasulullâh ﷺ spread something behind him (for her to sit on) and then pulled a veil over." (Bukhâri)

Hadhrat Jaabir, radiyallahu anhu, reports, "When Safiyya bint Huyay bin Akhtab, radiyallahu anha, entered Rasulullâh ﷺ's tent (as his wife), many people including myself presented ourselves there to have a share (of the Waleemah food). When he emerged from the tent, Rasulullâh ﷺ said, “Leave your mother (my wife) alone” (they all therefore left). When we gathered at the time of Ishâ, Rasulullâh ﷺ came out to us carrying in the edge of his shawl close to one and a half Mudd (A unit of weight used by the Arabs during those times) of Ajwah dates. (Handing them over to us) Rasulullâh ﷺ said, 'Eat from the Walîmah of your mother.'" (Ahmad)

8) Hadhrat Aa'isha, radiyallahu anha, narrates that when the captives of the Banu Mustaliq tribe were distributed (amongst the Muslim army), Hadhrat Juwayriyyah bint Hârith, radiyallahu anha, happened to fall in the lot of Hadhrat Thâbit bin Qais bin Shammâs, radiyallahu anhu, or one of his nephews. (Rather than being a conventional slave) Hadhrat Juwayriyyah, radiyallahu anha, entered into a contract of Kitâbah with him. She was an extremely pleasant and beautiful woman who attracted anyone who saw her. Hadhrat Aa'isha, radiyallahu anha, says, "She one day came to Rasulullâh ﷺ to seek assistance with paying off her Kitâbah. By Allâh! I disliked her as soon as I saw her standing at the door of my room because I knew that Rasulullâh ﷺ would also see in her what I saw. When she entered the room, she said, “O Rasulullâh ﷺ! I am Juwayriyyah, the daughter of Hârith bin Abu Dirâr, the leader of his tribe. As you well know, a calamity has befallen me (when I was captured and taken as a slave). I fell to the lot of Thâbit bin Qais bin Shammâs and entered into a contract of Kitâbah with him. I have now come to seek your assistance to pay of the Kitâbah.'" (Note: Kitâbah is a contract between slave and master by which the slave has to gradually pay the master a certain sum of money to secure freedom.)

"Do you not want something better?" Rasulullâh ﷺ asked. "What is that, O Rasulullâh ﷺ?" she wanted to know. Rasulullâh ﷺ said, "That I should pay off your Kitâbah and then marry you." "Certainly, O Rasulullâh ﷺ!" she replied, "I am most willing."

When the news reached the Sahabah, radiyallahu anhum, that Rasulullâh ﷺ had married Hadhrat Juwayriyyah, radiyallahu anha, they said, "They (the tribe of Hadhrat Juwayriyyah, radiyallahu anha) are now the in-laws of Rasulullâh ﷺ, so free those of them whom you own (as your slaves)." Hadhrat Aa'isha, radiyallahu anha, says, "It was therefore as a result of Rasulullâh ﷺ's marriage to Juwayriyyah, radiyallahu anha, that a hundred families of the Banu Mustaliq tribe were set free. I do not know of any woman who was a greater blessing for her tribe than Juwayriyyah, radiyallahu anha." (Hâkim, Ibn Ishâq)

Hadhrat Urwa, radiyallahu anhu, reports that Hadhrat Juwayriyyah bint Hârith, radiyallahu anha, said, "Three days before the arrival of Rasulullâh ﷺ, I dreamt that the moon came from Yathrib and fell into my lap. I however did not want to tell anyone about this until Rasulullâh ﷺ actually arrived. When we were taken captive, the dream gave me hope and Rasulullâh ﷺ eventually set me free and married me. By Allâh! I never spoke to Rasulullâh ﷺ about (freeing) the people of my tribe until the Muslims freed them by themselves. In fact, I only found out about it when one of my cousins informed me about it. I then praised Allâh for it."(Hâkim, Wâqidi)

9) Hadhrat Ibn Shihaab narrates that it was the year after signing the Treaty of Hudaybiyyah that Rasulullâh ﷺ left to perform Umrah. This occurred seven years after the Hijrah during the month of Dhul Qa'dah, which was the same month in which the polytheists had prevented Rasulullâh ﷺ from entering the Masjidul Haraam (the previous year). When he reached a place called Ya'jij, Rasulullâh ﷺ sent Hadhrat Ja'far bin Abu Taalib, radiyallahu anhu, to propose on his behalf for the hand of Hadhrat Maymûnah bint Hârith bin Hazan Aamiriyyah, radiyallahu anha, in marriage. Hadhrat Maymûnah, radiyallahu anha, handed over her affairs to Hadhrat Abbâs bin Abdul Muttalib, radiyallahu anhu, who was married to her sister Ummul Fadhl, radiyallahu anha. Hadhrat Abbâs, radiyallahu anhu, then handed her over in marriage to Rasulullâh ﷺ. Rasulullâh ﷺ stayed over in Sarif for a while until Hadhrat Maymûnah, radiyallahu anha, arrived there and the marriage was consummated. Allâh had decreed that Hadhrat Maymûnah, radiyallahu anha, should pass away at the same place where her marriage to Rasulullâh ﷺ was consummated. (Hâkim)

Another narration states that after marrying Hadhrat Maymûnah bint Hârith, radiyallahu anha, Rasulullâh ﷺ stayed in Makkah for three days. On the third day, Huwaytib bin Abdul Uzza came to Rasulullâh ﷺ with a few men of the Quraysh and said, "Your stay has expired, so leave us." Rasulullâh ﷺ said to them, "What harm will it do to you if you leave me to consummate my marriage in your midst, after which I shall host a meal which you all can attend?" "We have no need for your food," they snapped, "do leave us." Rasulullâh ﷺ therefore left Makkah Mukarramah with Hadhrat Maymûnah, radiyallahu anha, and consummated his marriage at Sarif. (Hâkim)

9) Hadhrat Rabee'ah, radiyallahu anhu, says, "I was Rasulullâh ﷺ’s servant. One day he asked, 'O Rabee'ah! Are you not interested in getting married?' I replied, 'I have no intention of marrying. While I have nothing with which to support a wife, I also do not want anything to preoccupy me from (serving) you.' When Rasulullâh ﷺ turned away from me, I said to myself, 'By Allâh! Rasulullâh ﷺ definitely knows better than me what is best for me in this world and in the hereafter. By Allâh! Should he ever again ask me whether I am interested in getting married, I shall reply, 'Certainly, O Rasulullâh ﷺ! Instruct me as you please.' When Rasulullâh ﷺ did ask me whether I was interested in getting married, I replied, 'Certainly, O Rasulullâh ﷺ! Instruct me as you please.' Rasulullâh ﷺ then instructed me to go to a particular tribe of the Ansâr who did not frequently meet with Rasulullâh ﷺ. He told me to tell them that he had sent me to them with instructions to get me married to a certain girl from amongst them. I therefore went to them and informed them that Rasulullâh ﷺ had sent me with instructions that they get me married. “Welcome to Rasulullâh ﷺ and the messenger of Rasulullâh ﷺ!” they cried out, “By Allâh! The messenger of Rasulullâh ﷺ shall never return without having his need fulfilled.” They then got me married and treated me exceptionally well without even asking for a witness.

I returned depressed to Rasulullâh ﷺ saying, 'O Rasulullâh ﷺ! I have been to people who are extremely generous. They got me married and treated me exceptionally well without even asking for a witness. However, I have no dowry to give. Rasulullâh ﷺ then called for Buraydah Aslami, radiyallahu anhu (the leader of my tribe), and instructed him to collect some gold for me equivalent to the weight of a date stone. When I took possession of what the people collected for me, I brought it to Rasulullâh ﷺ who said, 'Take this to them and tell them that this is her dowry.' When I did so and told them that this was her dowry, they accepted it with great happiness and said, 'This is excellent and so much!'

When I again returned depressed to Rasulullâh ﷺ, he asked, “Why so gloomy, O Rabee'ah?” “O Rasulullâh ﷺ!” I began, “I have never met people as wonderful as them. They were happy with what I gave them and treated me extremely well. They even told me that the dowry was excellent and so much.” However, I have nothing with which to host a Walîmah. “O Buraydah!” Rasulullâh ﷺ called out, “Collect (money) for a goat for him.” After the people (of my tribe) had collected (enough to buy) a large and fat sheep, Rasulullâh ﷺ instructed me to go to Aa'isha, radiyallahu anha, and tell her to give me the basket containing the grains. I did as I was ordered and she said, “Here is the basket containing seven Saa of barley. By Allâh! By Allâh! We have no other food besides this. You may have it.” I took the basket to Rasulullâh ﷺ and informed him about what Aa'isha, radiyallahu anha, had said. Rasulullâh ﷺ said, “Take this to them (your in-laws) and tell them to bake this (the barley) into bread and to cook that (the sheep).” (When I took it to them) They said, “While we can take care of the bread for you, you will have to see to the sheep for us.” Some men of the Aslam tribe and I took the sheep, slaughtered it, skinned it and then cooked it. We then had bread and meat with us and I hosted the Walîmah. I also invited Rasulullâh ﷺ. (Ahmad, Tabrâni)

10) Hadhrat Salmân Fârsi, radiyallahu anhu, reports that he once married a woman from the Kindah tribe and consummated the marriage in her house. On the night of the marriage, his friends walked with him to her house and when they reached it, he said to them, "You may return now. May Allâh ta’ala reward you." He did not allow them to enter the house as foolish people generally do. When he looked at the house which had been decorated (with drapes on all sides), he remarked, "Is your house feverish (because of which you had to bandage it) or has the Kabah been moved to the Kindah tribe?" The people replied, "Neither is the house feverish nor has the Kabah been moved to the Kindah tribe." Hadhrat Salmân, radiyallahu anhu, then refused to enter the house until all the drapes were removed except for the drape covering the entrance.

When Hadhrat Salmân, radiyallahu anhu, finally entered the house, he saw a large amount of goods there. "Whose goods are these?" he asked. "Yours and your wife's," the people replied. Hadhrat Salmân, radiyallahu anhu, said, "This does not conform to the advice my beloved friend (Rasulullâh ﷺ) gave me. My beloved friend ﷺ advised me to have only that much of worldly goods that a traveler has as provisions." When he saw a few (female) servants, he asked, "Whose servants are these?" When he was informed that the servants also belonged to him and his wife, he said, "This also does not conform to the advice my beloved friend ﷺ gave me. He advised me to keep only those (female) servants whom I can marry or who I can get married (to others). If I do keep them and they fornicate (because they have none to satisfy their needs), their sins will be on me without any reduction to the sin they will be guilty of."

Hadhrat Salmân, radiyallahu anhu, then turned to the women around his wife and said, "Will you ladies leave me to be alone with my wife?" They readily agreed and left. Hadhrat Salmân, radiyallahu anhu, then went to the door, shut it and drew the drape over it. Thereafter, he sat with his wife, held her forelock, and made du'â for blessings. He then asked her, "Will you obey any instructions I give you?" Her reply was, "You are sitting in the position of a person who has to be obeyed." He continued to say, "My beloved friend ﷺ advised me that when I meet with my wife (for the first time), I should meet with her in the obedience of Allâh." He then got up and proceeded to the place of salâh with her following him. After performing salâh for some time, they left the place of salâh and he then fulfilled with her the need a man has with his wife.

Early next morning his friends came to him asking, "How did you find your wife?" When he ignored them, they repeated the question. Again he ignored them but again they repeated themselves. When they repeated the question a third time, he ignored them yet again but then finally said, "Allâh has made drapes, curtains and doors to conceal what lies behind them. It is sufficient to ask about things that are apparent but one should never ask about things that are hidden. I heard Rasulullâh ﷺ say that those persons who narrate such (private) things are like donkeys having intercourse on the street." (Abu Nuaym in Hilyah)

Lessons: A person should commence his marriage life in the obedience of Allâh ta’ala. When a man meets his wife for the first time, he should recite the duâ, and both of them should engage in salâh and duâ before consummating their marriage. In this incident as well as many above, consummation would take place in the husbands or wife’s houses. There was no hotel, honeymoon, etc.

11) Hadhrat Thâbit Bunâni reports that Hadhrat Abu Dardâ, radiyallahu anhu, once went with Hadhrat Salmân Fârsi, radiyallahu anhu, to extend a proposal on his behalf for a woman of the Banu Layth tribe. Hadhrat Abu Dardâ, radiyallahu anhu, went in to see the family and told them in detail that Hadhrat Salmân, radiyallahu anhu, was one of the early Muslims and also recounted his acceptance of Islâm. He then proceeded to mention to them that Hadhrat Salmân, radiyallahu anhu, wished to marry a particular girl of their family. Their reply was, "While we do not wish to get Salmân, radiyallahu anhu, married (to our daughter), we wouldn't mind getting you married (to her)." They then handed her over in marriage to him and he left.

(When he met Hadhrat Salmân, radiyallahu anhu) Hadhrat Abu Dardâ, radiyallahu anhu, said, "Something has happened that I am too embarrassed to tell you about." "What is it?" Hadhrat Salmân, radiyallahu anhu, asked. When Hadhrat Abu Dardâ, radiyallahu anhu, related the incident to him, Hadhrat Salmân, radiyallahu anhu, said, "I should be the one embarrassed since I proposed for a woman whom Allâh ta’ala had destined for you." (Abu Nuaym in Hilyah, Tabrâni)

Subhânallah! Look at the clean hearts the Sahâbah, radiyallahu anhum, possessed!