Sunnah Method Of Marriage

7. Hastening Of Marriage

Nabî ﷺ said, “O Alî, do not delay in three things: 1) salâh when the time enters 2) the janâzah (bier) when it is ready 3) marriage of an unmarried person when a suitable partner has been found." (Tirmidhi)

The word ‘ayyim’ (unmarried person) can refer to male or female, a person who is a virgin or one previously married. Thus, encouragement is being given to ensure that all members in a Muslim society are married which will place a stop on the evils of fornication which is currently so rampant. How unfortunate it is, that today, many parents delay the marriages of their children, since they feel that they are not old enough, or because of acquiring worldly education. Daughters are married after the age of 25, since they are ‘studying’. In the co-ed school and university environments, it is almost impossible for young boys and girls, in the prime of their youth, to control their passions. The chastity of very few youngsters is saved in these environments. Many youngsters who want to save their imân and chastity, and abstain from fornication, then fall into the evil habit of masturbation, which causes great spiritual, medical, sexual, emotional, psychological, and physical harm. Today when even married people are falling into illicit love affairs so easily, then how can parents ever expect their children to abstain and protect themselves? Many parents are in self-delusion that their children will never do such evil. They are living in a fool’s paradise. It is very rare to find a young girl who has been to high school and has not been “touched.” The minimal is that she will be looked at with desire. Rasulullâh ﷺ has stated, “Allâh ta’ala curses the one who looks and the one looked at.” (Shuabul-Imân) After becoming accursed by Allâh ta’ala, how can one ever expect goodness from such children?

Many youngsters desire to marry, but parents due to fear of society or other reasons, do not allow it. Many parents will allow their children to date and ‘go-out’ even feeling proud about this, but when the subject of marriage is broached, they blankly refuse. Instead of some worldly loss or disgrace, man should fear the disgrace of the Day of Judgement, where he will be taken to task for not fulfilling the rights of his children.

Rasulullâh ﷺ said, “Whoever has a child, should give him a good name and teach him noble manners. When he matures, he should get him married. If the child is mature, and the father does not marry him, and the child sins, the sin is upon the father also.” (Shuabul-Imân) In another hadith, Rasulullâh ﷺ is reported to have said, “It is mentioned in the Tawrâh, “Whoever’s daughter reaches the age of twelve, and he does not marry her, and she commits a sin, then the sin will be upon him.” (ibid) Thus the sins of the children, in the form of fornication of the eyes, ears, heart, tongue, hands, or private parts will plummet on the parents. Many young girls abort after falling pregnant, after which her parents are still not prepared to get them married. What answer will they give on the Day of Judgement, when they too will be raised as murderers of innocent children, since they were the indirect cause of this abortion? If a youngster is studying and desires to get married, then his parents should try to make means to support him financially.

Allâh ta’ala states, “If they are poor, Allâh (ta’ala) will make them wealthy out of His grace.” Ibn Abbâs, radiyallahu anhu, said regarding this verse, “Allâh ta’ala has encouraged and commanded the free people and the slaves to marry, and promised them wealth. Abu Bakr, radiyallahu anhu, said, “Obey Allâh ta’ala in this command of marrying, He will fulfill His promise to you of wealth.” Ibn Mas’ûd, radiyallahu anhu, said, “Seek wealth in nikâh.” (Ibn Kathir) Umar, radiyallahu anhu, would say, “I am surprised at the person who does not search for wealth by means of marriage, whereas Allah ta’ala has stated “If they are poor, Allah will make them independent by His grace.” (Abdur Razzâq) Rasulullâh ﷺ said, “Allâh ta’ala has taken it upon Himself to aid three persons.” One of them is a person who marries to protect his chastity.” (Tirmidhi, Nasai)

In the above hadith, Rasulullâh ﷺ made mention of an unmarried person. This includes a widow or divorcee. Unfortunately, this too is regarded as an evil in many societies, whereas it is completely against the grain of Islamic teachings. Due to customs of other societies, especially the Hindus, many people regard it as repugnant and incorrect for a woman to remarry. Many of the former husband’s family tell the wife after his demise, “Do not disgrace us by ever getting married.” If she remarries, she is regarded as shameless and evil, having brought disgrace to the husband’s family. These are customs from the Days of Ignorance, which Nabî ﷺ came to destroy. May Allâh ta’ala save us from such foolishness! Out of Nabî ﷺ’s eleven marriages, ten were to previously married women.