Sunnah Method Of Marriage

13. Christian Customs

1.) Engagement rings and engagements - The formal engagement ring began in the Roman era. The ring and solemn embrace gave the act mystic significance. Later on the tradition was carried on by the Christians. The significance of an engagement and the ring is a tradition based on the Christian ethos, western culture and superstition. Engagement is a mere promise to marry. In Islam there is no basis for the concept of an engagement party, and the sunnah is to marry the couple without unnecessary delay, once they have agreed to marry. Thus the engagement contract or party and the engagement rings are innovations introduced into Islam.

Gifts are received by the girl’s party from the boy. If the girl’s party demands such gifts, it will be regarded as bribery. Even if they do not demand the gifts, but it is a part of the custom to receive such gifts, the same ruling will apply. However, if no such custom prevails, then it will not be regarded as bribery.

2.) Wedding ring – Pope Nicholas 1 (c 866 CE) states that the whole Christian matrimony falls into two clearly defined parts: a) the preliminary betrothal i.e. the expression of consent by the parties and b) the delivery of the pledges, represented by the giving of the ring. The wedding ring has customarily symbolized an everlasting promise. Today dates and initials are engraved within it. The tradition for this dates back a long time. The ancient Greeks, the Jews and the Crusaders would engrave their rings with different messages. The importance of rings in a Christian wedding cannot be over-emphasized. The ‘great authority’ Charlemagne even declared that without the blessing of a marriage by a priest through rings, marriages should not be held valid. The wedding ring is placed on the forth finger. The English Christian custom dictates that, after the priest has blessed the ring, the bridegroom should place it, first, on the bride’s thumb with the words “In the name of the Father” then on the index finger “and of the son” then on the middle finger “and of the holy ghost” and finally on the fourth finger “Amen.”

3.) The wedding dress or veil – Traditionally, brides have been thought to be particularly vulnerable to evil spirits. The veils originally worn by Roman brides. It was thought that it would disguise the bride and therefore outwit any evil spirits. The veil became popular in Britain in the eighteen hundreds.

Fashion and the aristocracy introduced the white wedding dress. The first all-white wedding dress of modern times appears to have been worn by Ann of Brittany for her marriage to Louis X11. The word ‘white wedding’ have become neatly expressive of all the old traditions of white satin, bridesmaids, flowers, bells and wedding cakes. White epitomises purity and also is said to deter the evil eye.

4.) Wearing of the crown (tiara) – This is derived from early Christian tradition. Crowning typifies purity and at early Christian weddings the couple were crowned by the priest with garlands of myrtle (evergreen shrubs) after he had blessed the marriage ceremony. The importance of wearing a crown is held in such high esteem within the church that in some regions the crowns were bought by the parish and lent to all so that brides rich and poor might appear at their best on their wedding day. Even today, the Greek and Russian Christian marriages need two distinct ceremonies 1) the exchange of rings 2) crowning, a lengthy service where both parties express their consent to the union and towards the end the ‘blessed’ crown is placed on the head of the bride by the priest.

5.) Wedding cake – This is actually a symbol, whose origins are traced within the Christian Church. Previously bread would often be blessed at the end of the Sunday mass and distributed.

6.) Flowers – Using white or red flowers is amongst Christian culture. Western tradition would lead us to believe that flowers express fertility, love, and affection. It is important to note that Islam is not against flowers or their decorative use. The question raised here is the use of flowers on a special occasion in a ritualistic manner made obligatory by western Christian culture.

7.) The best man – It was the best man’s duty to protect the groom from bad luck. He must ensure that once the groom has begun his journey to the church, he does not return for any reason. He must also arrange for the groom to carry a small mascot or charm in his pocket on the wedding day. When the best man is paying the church minister’s fees, he should pay him an odd sum to bring luck to the couple.